I have read about other moms and even some who are friends of mine who have or had very sick children, and I wondered how they possibly did it. I have thought “I could never have the strength for that.” And now I realize that the love for your child and the strength that God gives you is so much greater than you could ever comprehend in a situation like this, and having that faith in God’s plan and that unconditional love for your child – together with the support of all those around you – is what keeps you going.
This is not my usual personality at all. I keep a very organized schedule and home, and I hate when plans change. I have expectations that I want to be met. I have “why me?” moments about bad hair days and ruining dinner because I didn’t know that al dente meant to actually cook the noodles first.
But never once have we asked “why me?” about Brenna. Not when she was born, not when she was diagnosed, not even when we thought we were going to have to say goodbye to her on Christmas Day. We know why, and God continues to verify this reason every single day. She gives me such a sense of purpose that I have never felt before.
When we were deciding what to name our blog, we wanted the name to encompass exactly how we felt about our situation…BLESSED is the first word that came to our heads.
Someone I know sent me a link to another mom’s blog after Brenna was born, where the woman had written about her child with special needs. She wrote:
“She is the perfect child, the child we wanted so badly. Even when society sees her as imperfect & pities us for they know no better - I pity them because they don't have a child like her. We are blessed!”
That is exactly how we are feeling about our Brenna :)